I'm tired
by recluse-writes
Summary: What if Hinata wasn't the "light to his dark" and he needed to help himself?
1. Chapter 1

Taking a few breaths, she began timidly.

"Sasuke?"

"Hm?"

"We need to… Sasuke, look at me, we need to talk."

Dark eyes lifted from the book he was reading and he noticed the slight tremor in her hands.

They were going to have this talk again.

He sighed, "Hinata we've been over thi-"

"I really want you to get help. This isn't healthy."

"I don't need help, I've got you."

Her eyes watered and her resolve started to crumble. "That's just it, I'm only one person and I can't take away your self loathing. I can't take away your depression or how much you hate your family or-"

She took a deep breath, "As much as I want to and as much as I've tried, there is no one person that can do all of that for you, Sasuke. You need to do it for yourself."

He simply stared at her.

"Are you done?"

He was treating her like a child throwing a fit.

She shook her head.

"Whatever this," she gestured frantically. "Whatever this is, I'm done being a part of it."

The corners of his mouth twitched down and he had the gall to look mildly inconvenienced.

"No." He refused to believe this was happening. "Don't ruin a good thing - we've been together for 4 years. Whatever you're worried about we can work it out."

"No?" She threw up her hands. "What I want is for you to work on yourself, but y-you're not even _trying_."

The tears fell.

"I'm just… tired. I need to take care of myself right now and maybe we can love each other at another time, but this is too much."

He continued to stare at her; charcoal burning into lilac.

He didn't know what to say.

Silence and regret hung in the air.

Shoulders shaking, she turned away.

Oh god, she was leaving. Without a second thought, he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and kissed the side of her neck.

"Don't… don't leave me like everyone else." His voice was small, pleading.

She leaned back into his warmth.

"Th-that's not fair, Sasuke," she was openly sobbing now. "I'm so tired."

He turned her around to clutch her close to his chest and familiar arms immediately snaked around him; it was second nature. Maybe if he hugged her tight enough she would know how much he needed her. She was everything to him.

She already knew.

After a few moments, he walked them to their bed and they just held each other.

"I don't want to but I need to," she whispered.

He kissed the top of her head, "I know."

She couldn't see that he was crying too.

Exhausted from the day's events, they drifted off to sleep.

* * *

She was alone when she woke up.


	2. Chapter 2

the aftermath

* * *

She let him stay in their apartment and it was a goddamn curse.

A few times he would walk up to the apartment door after coming back from work, anticipating Hinata humming some nameless song and tinkering in the kitchen.

Instead, he was greeted with mind numbing silence and pangs in his chest.

Not bothering to turn on any lights, he would trudge to his room to change and lie down.

She didn't take their photos or any of the little trinkets bought absentmindedly from the farmers markets she liked to frequent. She only took her clothes and bare necessities, and only when he was away at work.

In a burst of sentimentality, he tried to keep a shirt of hers by hiding it under his pillow, hoping she wouldn't notice. The attempt was unsuccessful and the article of clothing was gone when he returned that evening.

Even her scent lingered. In the living room, in the hallway, and _especially_ in the sheets. Trying to sleep was hell with her memory imprinted in his subconscious. Sometimes it was too much and he had to spend the night on the couch.

It was cruel, though not her intention, to leave everything almost virtually the same.

Sasuke wanted to shove all of her keepsakes into a box and hide it in the back of the closet so he would never have to look at the damned things again. But he didn't have the energy nor will.

So the apartment became a museum of their history and he, the lonely curator.

* * *

Six days after one of the most devastating moments of his life, there was knocking at the front door.

At the idea that it could have been Hinata wanting to make up, his heart raced and he practically jumped out of bed. Smoothing his hair down, he eagerly threw open the door and put on a signature smirk.

His expression fell and he was already preparing to close the door when he saw the mop of blonde hair. Before he could shut it all the way, Naruto wedged his body into the gap and slipped in.

"Woah Sasuke! You could at least pretend to be a little excited to see your best friend," he joked.

The other man said nothing and began to shuffle back into his room to lie down.

"Hey man, I, uh, heard what happened from Sakura."

Without turning around, Sasuke momentarily paused in his trek and stated, "Get out of my apartment."

Naruto grabbed his friend's shoulder and turned him around, cerulean blue boring into disinterested black. "Look - I know it's gotta be really hard on you… but you need to at least take a shower."

The blonde eyed the Uchiha's matted hair and rumpled clothing with concern and dropped him off in the bathroom, before coming back with a fresh sweater and jeans. He even turned the shower water on so it could warm up.

Naruto left and closed the bathroom door with a soft _click_ before checking out Sasuke's fridge. It was practically barren. A few rotten tomatoes, some spoiled milk, empty take out boxes… This wouldn't do.

When he was done disposing the contents of Sasuke's depressing fridge and washing the dishes that looked like they've sitting in the sink for days, the man himself emerged from the bathroom, looking considerably cleaner.

"How about we go out and get some ramen?"

Sasuke gave a slight nod.

Naruto grinned in reply.

* * *

It wasn't until three weeks later that Sasuke realized she wasn't coming home.

It struck him at 2 AM, while he was laying in the bed that was much too cold.

He was overcome with the same kind of emptiness one feels when they finish a novel. Aware that they will never truly experience that same kind of excitement when there are no pages left to turn, even when they read it again.

Except he couldn't re-read the book and his relationship with Hinata was more than a fucking story.

He turned on his side, uncomfortable with the revelation. Facing the window, he stared out, not really seeing anything in particular.

The moon was full and radiant and he was reminded of Hinata. Her eyes were so vibrant, expressive-

Fuck.

He turned on his side again, to face the wall. The wall was nondescript and dark and didn't remind him of anyone. It was safe.

Closing his eyes, he tried to trick his body into thinking it was asleep. All harrowing thoughts would be saved for tomorrow.

* * *

A/N: hey hey so idk where this story is going lol, i'm just going to leave it as complete for now. when i wrote this, i was in the mood to write a break up fic and i love pain and suffering so this was the result. thanks for reading!


End file.
